Can heartbreak harm a fetus?

My grandmother passed away Monday night. It's been almost 48 hours (seems like longer) and it's still surreal. The pain ebbs and flows. For the most part I can function normally, just with an immense pain in my heart. But sometimes, well sometimes I can't breathe and the grief overwhelms me. I can't fight the tears, (or should I saw sobs), and the pain in my chest explodes like fireworks, until every part of me aches. I'm not just grieving the loss of my precious Baw. Unfortunately I was with her in the end, and saw the suffering and panic. No one ever wants to see someone they love so dearly go through such a traumatic event. Those five minutes are haunting me; when I'm awake, when I'm sleeping, when I awake from sleeping. I can't get that awful image out of my head. This is not what I want to think about when I think of my Baw. I try to make my mind flip to her laughter or stories, her joy and her warmth. I hope those memories come back soon. Right now I can only think of the end, and it's horrible. On top of that experience, I can't quit worrying about baby Drew. My everything hurts, and I fear it will affect him. When I feel the black cloud coming on, I try to talk myself out of it, so little Drew won't feel the pain, or know mommy feels like she's dying inside. Sometimes I can push it along, but sometimes it takes over without asking me. Can my broken heart hurt him? I really hope not! I keep thinking of the women who lost their husbands that were pregnant on 9/11. Not that I'm comparing myself to them, but that I think their children came out okay (I saw a 20/20 about those special moms and children), so I'm telling myself Drew will be just fine. But I do worry, and I do feel guilty. I know stress releases extra cortisol, and this extra cortisol is found in the amniotic fluid, but I've also read that to effect the fetus, these extra levels must be elevated long term. It's too much to think about really. No more Baw, the traumatic event, hurting baby Drew...I just want it to be a month from now, and some of these extreme emotions to have settled and minimized. I never want to wish away time, but I do want to feel like me again. I want what happened Monday night to leave my brain, and to have only happy memories of my grandmother.

*I wrote this stream-of-conscious style, and didn't want to edit it. It's more for me than any other reader, as I was hoping that writing down some feelings might help me sort them out.