overflow of emotions

Would you believe me if I told you that I think about this blog every day? EVERY. SINGLE. DAY! Seriously. I'm not exaggerating! I think of things I want to document, frustrations to vent, memories to record, milestones to applaud...yet I haven't written in six months. I beat myself up over not blogging more, which I think is why I continue the hiatus, but NO MORE! Today I am breaking the ice and returning to the blog. At least for today. :)

Drew is 11 months old. He has been this many months for eight days now, and each day that passes makes me more and more emotional. Because that's one day closer to his first birthday. I didn't fully get this until I became a mom. 'It's a birthday...what's the big deal?' Totally wrong...such a big deal. Because it's not just a birthday. It's a reflection of the MOST AMAZING YEAR of our lives. It's memory lane. It's celebrating the little soul that changed everything (yes, EVERYTHING) about not only the way we live, but WHO we are. We are his, and he is ours. He made us a family. He changed the way we look at our own family. He's changed every single relationship in my life. Because seeing my friends and family become Drew's village is more touching than my brain can explain. It's a little teeny tiny bit of a relief...we're past the super delicate newborn stage. But then again, let's be honest...no matter how old he gets, he will always be our BABY and every little thing will matter. It's so much more than I can even put into words. It's a million emotions (sad, happy, proud, joyful, excited, confident, scared, eager, curious) all swirled into one overwhelming event. I'm actually fighting tears as I type this. Lump in the throat, burning in my chest. So if this is what 11 months and 8 days feels like, I can't even imagine what the BIG DAY will feel like. And how about the day of his party? When I see all the people we love come together to celebrate OUR boy, I can't even fathom the emotions. Our happy little miracle baby.
Sooo...if you see me, talk to me, have any type of communication with me, in the next few weeks, chances are I'm going to be emotional and sappy and I might even cry. Also, I'm on a strict diet, and who doesn't get emtoional on diets? Double whammy. (poor Zac...what were we thinking with the timing of this 24day challenge?) Anyways, consider yourself warned.
PS-Sunday Zac ran to Target to buy a canister of formula. When he got home, I realized this was the LAST formula we'd ever buy him. Which also means he'll be done with bottles soon too. Sigh...