4 weeks

On Monday, Drew was four weeks old. I know I keep saying this, but the time is flying by. Tomorrow he will be one month old! My sister gave me a whole year worth of shirts to take pics of him on the 8th of each month. I can't wait to do that tomorrow and have the photos to compare as he grows.

So, it turns out that so far, each week of parenting has been harder than the one before it. Drew was officially diagnosed with colic, and that has been quite difficult. Most evenings, he starts getting fussy around 7pm, and it just continues to escalate until 11 or midnight. He's pretty much inconsolable, so we try a million different things, and take turns with him, but he basically cries until he decides to stop. Time crawls when he's screaming. It's a very desperate feeling. We try to stay calm, since he can sense if we are stressed or frustrated or exhausted (we are all three), but it gets so hard. We switch out, and I have to say we are a great team. I feel so sorry for Drew and 97% of the time my heart just breaks for him and I wish so badly I could fix it and help him feel better and calm down. And the other 3%? Well, if I can be honest (and I can, y'all are my friends and family and you know my heart) 3 percent of the time I'm thinking "this isn't what it was supposed to be like." Luckily I've not ever felt mad or resentful towards Drew (which sounds awful even writing out, but I could see how some parents would have those feelings), I truly just feel so sad that I can't help him. Zac said "why can we clone a human being, but we can't find a cure for colic?"

Yesterday he shed tears for the first time, and that was like a punch to the gut. I guess I'd taken for granted crying without tears (or not ever even thought about it!), so when his face was red and he had hot wet tears rolling down his cheeks. It's a whole new level of empathy.

Luckily the days are still pretty peaceful. He has occasional crying spells, but so does every baby. I love when he's awake and alert and we try to make the most of that time. He has started to really relax during bathtime, and seems to enjoy it. He still stretches all the time, and lately the cutest thing has been happening: he stretches his arms so hard that his little fist shakes real fast. It's a little tremble, but it's so cute, and I like to pretend he's fist pumping. LOL!

He's growing so much so quickly. I weighed him today (very unofficially, I just weighed myself then weighed myself again while holding him) and he was NINE pounds! That means he gained two pounds in one month! His thighs are starting to get chunky, and so are his cheeks and chin. I'm compulsive about cleaning his neck area, since he's kind of a messy eater, and it's getting more difficult due to the extra chub. It's so stinking cute though. I bet I kiss him 200 times a day. And I'm not even exaggerating. I can't get enough of his soft warm face. :)

Today someone knocked on the door and for some reason I answered. (I usually don't, especially since my door hanger is covering our peep hole.) Anyways, it was two women dressed very nicely and I could tell they were sweet. Turns out they were Jehovah's Witnesses. I'm not going to lie, in the past I would have been friendly, but then very politely excused myself. Welp, turns out I'm kind of desperate for adult conversation these days, because I stood on the porch and talked to them for a good 15 minutes. She have me a little pamphlet and even asked if she could come back next week to see what I thought of it and I said YES! Isn't that funny? Definitely miss having adult social time, lol!

Anyways, all is good. I'm healthy, Drew is healthy, we are well fed and have the best dad/husband and dog. I know the colic will pass, and I'm focusing on enjoying every moment...even that hard ones.