Night before thoughts...

What did I think about the night before I became a mom? A lot. My thoughts have been all over the place. Here are the main ideas though...

The entire pregnancy- From the moment I found out, to the first doctor appointments, to finding out the gender, and so on. It was an unintentional little brain timeline, like a scene from a movie, playing all the key parts for me.

Molly, my first child- This made me tear up. Her life is about to change so much. I know I will still love her just as much, but I fear she will feel less loved. I think her age and recent health issues also make it harder, because I worry what this big change will do to her. So I cuddled her extra tight and smiled as she sighed her big "good night world" sigh.

Becoming a mother- I've wanted this forever, I KNOW I'm prepared, yet suddenly I felt young and inexperienced and it's like "Really? Me? I'm the one who'll be in charge of this tiny little life?" What an abundant task. I hope it do okay.

Lots and lots of prayer- this also made me cry. I'm so thankful for all the gifts He has blessed us with. I praised Him for our miracle, and thanked Him for a healthy pregnancy. I asked Him to watch over me and Drew tomorrow, and to be with Drew forever and always. I asked Him to help me be the kind of mommy Drew needs, and to honor Him in the choices we make as parents. (Sidenote- Pregnancy has made me feel so very close to God. How can it not?...There is a miracle growing inside of you! It's one of the most amazing things I've ever experienced, and I constantly felt so blessed to be chosen and trusted to be the mother to this little soul.)

The baby- I wondered what he will look like and how he will be. Will he like being held up and down or sideways? Will he be a good eater? I can't wait to learn everything about him and know him so intimately, as only a parent can.

It's 4am...I still have time to (try to) get a few hours sleep. i just finished a banana and some graham crackers, and now I'm passed my cutoff for food. Time is ticking, and I couldn't be more tickled. Now, back to bed and back to my thoughts, or hopefully some restful heavy ZZZZZZZ's.