Last Night

Last night was one for the record books. And not in a good way. Quite possibly the worst night of "sleep" I've had my entire life. But the sun is up and I'm drinking my morning smoothie, and all is right in the world again. I'm even a little entertained now, by the story of last night, so I thought I'd record it on the blog. Yes, this will probably make me sound crazy, but really I'm only crazy at night. What is up with that? Anyways, it's also way too detailed. Sorry. I just started typing away and couldn't stop myself. :)

First of all, it was a wonderful evening. Awhile back I joined the Chili's email list and so we had a free coupon. We invited Ramsi to join us, and that was fun too. The female manager there LOVES Zac and swears he looks just like Robin Thicke (remarks on it and gets excited every single time she sees him! haha), so she always gives us free chips and salsa. Score!

 

Anyways, we had a great time at dinner, dropped Ramsi off, then settled in to watch our favorite show Big Brother. I wanted to make some chocolate chip cookies (going to see my old co-workers today and wanted to take them a treat), so Zac even ran to the store to buy butter for me. It was a great evening, plus I got a glass of milk and two cookies to cap it off! :)

We got in bed around ten. Not late but not early. We both quietly tossed and turned, then I picked up my phone andstarted browsing facebook. Zac turned the TV on, because he couldn't sleep either. My hips hurt a lot from having to lay on my side all the time, so I finally decided that if I couldn't sleep, I should just get out of bed. So, I got up and grabbed my many bottles and boxes of pills I take and refilled my week supply of drugs.

 

That only took about ten minutes, so I decided to do a daily devotional before I tried to lay down again. (more on my Bible Study in a future post) I love reading the devotional book, and the passages from the Bible, recording my responses to the thought provoking questions. In fact, when I got to the end of the days' lesson, I wanted to move on to the next day. But I didn't let myself. Because I'm not even supposed to do one on Wednesday, since that's the day we meet as a group. Anyways, I'd been up about 45 minutes and decided to try to go back to sleep. My reflux was worst than it's been in ages, but I had already taken my antacid, so there wasn't much I could do. 

So, I lay down, out of breath, fire coming up my throat. I endure this for about an hour (wide awake, and annoyed I'm SO tired but can't seem to get comfortable, and my mind won't quit racing), and the longer I'm in bed, the more anxious I get. I remember that What To Expect said to get up and take a hot relaxing bath to reset your mind and body. I'm not a big fan of baths, but if there's a chance it'll help me sleep, I plan on trying. By this point it's past midnight.

So I get to the bathroom and light a few candles, because I knew it'd be counter-productive to turn the lights on, if I'm trying to wind down. I pull the shower curtain back and remember we just gave Molly a bath a few days ago. Zac's usually pretty good about cleaning out the tub after he bathes her, but I get nervous for a second, so I get a clorox wipe and wipe down the tub. (pretty sure this isn't helping me "relax") Look how cute Molly was in her oatmeal bath though...

 

I digress. So I have the candles lit. I rinse out the tub with water (just in case some of the clorox didn't air dry...definitely don't want to sit in chemicals...have I ever mentioned I think baths are gross? Whether the tub is clean or not.) and then I run my warm bath water. Of course it can't be too hot, but warm enough to relax. I finally get in, and I have some Enya playing softly on my phone and candles lit and warm steam rising up from the tub. Maybe this is relaxing afterall! I sat long enough to get good and drowsy (actually, I kind of wanted to fall asleep right there in the tub!) then decided to slip into bed, just knowing I'd fall asleep immediately. I towel off and put my night clothes back on, then open the door to the bathroom. I blow out the candles, and as I'm hanging my towel, the LOUDEST screeching alarm I've ever heard in my life starts screaming. "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!" It. Won't. Stop. Turns out our smoke detector is in the hallways, right outside the bathroom door (also near Drew's bedroom door, which could be a life saver, or really annoying if it ever does this to me again!) and the smoke from the triple-wick candles has set it off. Zac stumbles through the living room, eyes half open and asks what's going on. By this point I've grabbed a magazine, and I'm fanning the ceiling in the hall. It finally stops. But now my heart is RACING, and I feel more awake than I ever have in my whole life. Did I just drink an espresso? I am aggravated at more bad luck, and know better than to try to lay down now, in this mood. It's 1am now, and I haven't eaten since dinner at 6, so I decide to try to fill my belly, and see if that helps make me tired. I grab a handful of graham crackers and make myself some Yogi Bedtime tea. I hadn't had it in a long time, and I'd forgotten how yummy it smells and tastes. 

 But halfway through the hot tea, my reflux kicks into high gear. Maybe the warmth relaxed my esophagus even more, maybe there's an herb in the tea that's not good for reflux, but whatever it is, I'm suddenly having to re-swallow graham crackers and tea that already went down. (that's the most delicate way to put it. But to put it bluntly, I was full-fledged throwing up in my mouth.) Sigh...it's just not my night. I finish the last sip of tea and drink a little water and head to bed. By this point, in my deranged and desperate state of mind, I start thinking to myself "tomorrow I'm going to drive to my doctor's office and beg them to reschedule the c-section for earlier! I'm so over this." Luckily somewhere around 2am, I drift off to dreamland and all the anxiety and frustration and desperation of just wanting some dang sleep fade away. I slept pretty hard until about 9am this morning, when I woke up feeling sore and stuffy. I actually smiled while I was still in bed, thinking how pathetic I was last night. In the past I haven't been able to sleep but I was wide awake, so I just got up and blogged or surfed in the internet or was productive. I think the difference was that last night I was so so tired (I'd woken up at 6:15 am and not napped all day) and really wanted to sleep, I just couldn't. Anyways, it all sounds so petty and over-dramatic now, just like bad dreams do the next day when you're trying to retell how horrifying they were, but it sounds like a PG movie. Speaking of movies, that scene of me fanning the smoke detector in the middle of the night, naked and nine months pregnant...yeah, that seems like something that would only happen in a movie. The Drew kicks and I smile again, because how amazing is it to be pregnant? To feel this little miracle growing and moving inside of you. Yes, when the sun is up, I can think rationally and gratefully, and I like my thoughts much better during the daytime.